![]() "Because they might not know that it's OK to ask more questions," Mullane said. It's also important to leave the dialogue open by giving kids permission to come back and ask anything. "Be as open and honest as possible with your answers," Mullane said. Then I can ask if they understand or have questions, which I'll answer clearly. Instead of sharing every aspect of my condition with my daughters, I can simply give them the name and definition and explain that I was born with it. Answer questions with simple, clear information Instead, I can comfort her and prepare her to go herself as best as I can, tell her we'll talk about it later, and then have the conversation with her at a later time. If my daughter is disappointed that I can't attend an event with her because of my condition, it might not be the best moment to talk to her about it when she's about to leave and emotions are high. Sometimes, it's better to wait for the right time. I'm lucky that I'm a candidate for this lifesaving surgery. While medications and other interventions have been working so far, I may need a heart transplant someday. There are days when I question how I could give my poor children a mother like me, because the truth is, I've technically been in heart failure for about four years. The two are not just braided together - they're knotted tightly. I can't separate that reality from my role as mother. Like most people with CHD, I've had multiple open-heart surgeries, as well as countless smaller procedures over the years. It's a lifelong condition that requires regular doctors' appointments, frequent tests like echocardiograms and stress tests, and usually medication to combat irregular heartbeats and fluid retention, among other things. I hoped that after my family was complete, my heart's intrusion into motherhood would end. With my complex congenital heart disease, or CHD, pregnancy was too risky, so I built my family through adoption and welcomed home two daughters, now 7 and 11. I always knew motherhood wouldn't come easy. ![]() Account icon An icon in the shape of a person's head and shoulders.
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